When I was active in my addiction, I had no self–discipline. Self–control was out of the question. Selfishness and self–centeredness ruled my thinking, behaviour and values. In recovery I needed to learn self–discipline. This meant no longer reacting to my emotions, desires or will. It meant that I had to learn to proceed through life, not with my own wisdom, but with the wisdom of others and the wisdom of my Higher Power. Meetings provided me with a place to meet others who certainly knew more about recovery than I did. I needed to seek out their wisdom. It was through the program and the grace of God that I learned the self–discipline of abstinence.
Even later in recovery, I discovered that it was important to use self–discipline to give up some of my unhealthy behaviours and character defects. I had a tendency to self–sabotage and ruin what was good in my life. I had to corrupt any real success I had. Again I had to turn to the practice of self–discipline. My will only hurt me. I needed again and again to turn to others in the program and to God to find wisdom to deal with life and receive the encouragement I needed to do the next right thing, or at least do the next thing right. Do I practice self–discipline and seek wisdom from others?
Meditations for the Heart
I needed a guide to help me figure out how to have healthy relationships with other people. Learning how to get along with others and how to be genuine in my relationships was something that I needed to relearn. I knew how to interact with others, but I had no idea how to do this with my mask off. How do I allow myself to be vulnerable and real with others? I was afraid to let people in and afraid to share the real me. What would happen if others could see the blanket of shame I wore on the inside? Continuing to hide behind the mask would not work anymore. I believe this is a part of the reason that sponsorship is encouraged. I found someone who I could risk letting into my world to see the real me. My sponsor was not only my guide, but he also became my friend. He was a friend who would tell me the truth, a friend who would share his wisdom with me. Am I learning how to have a healthy relationship with others?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God, My heart is so undisciplined and reactive. My will, my emotions and my desire only seem to get me into trouble. Help me this day to seek out wisdom from others and learn self–discipline. Guide me to others with whom I can have healthy relationships. Amen.
Today’s Gift
Everyone has his own fingerprints. The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colours of the rainbow. Take your own colour in the pattern and be just that. – Charles R. Brown
We are often amazed at how different members of the same family seem to be. Contrasts are often great: one child might be loud and funny, one might be timid and quiet, and yet neither seems to take after the parents. A family is like a vegetable garden. The vegetables respond to outside influences. The one exposed to more sunlight will grow differently than the one growing in a damp, shady place. Vegetables growing in crowded areas of the garden may not be as developed as those around them, but they might be tastier. Although we may have common roots, outside experiences and friends mould us too, making each of us unique. We sometimes lose ourselves by comparisons and feel as if we don’t belong, but the variety of our family garden is what makes the world so interesting. How can I honour another person’s uniqueness today?
Touchstones
Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it. – Archibald. MacLeish
For many men, being addicts meant living double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home.
In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones.
Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me.
Each Day a New Beginning
Fortunately [psycho] analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. – Karen Horney
The passage of time, coupled with an openness to the messages gleaned from our conversations with others, can provide answers we need for the way out of painful situations. Life is ebb and flow, peaks and valleys, struggles and sweet times. What we fail to realize, all too often, is that the struggles make possible the times that are sweet.
Our conflicts are our special lessons in life. We can learn to flow with them, move through them, trust their value to us as growing, changing women. How good it feels to have found security with one another and that power greater than ourselves who can, when we are willing, show us the path to resolution.
Life will never be free of conflict – nor should it be. Our lessons move us to higher planes of awareness. We can experience the joy hidden within the conflict. We can help one another remember that the sweetness of a moment is tied to the pain of a former, forgotten moment. All events, all experiences, are connected. The path I travel, alone and with others, is bringing me brighter days. I will trust my path. It’s right for me.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go
Religious Freedom
“…A Power greater than ourselves…” “God as we understood Him.” These words introduce spirituality in the Twelve Steps. They are the first two references to God, and they are worded that way for a reason. We each have the freedom to define, and understand, our Higher Power – God – as we choose. That means we do not bring our religious affiliation into our recovery groups. It means that we do not try to impose our religious beliefs, or our understanding of God, on anyone else. We do not use our groups or meetings as a soapbox to gain religious converts. We do not try to force the particulars of our religious beliefs on others.
We give each person, the right to a personal understanding of a Higher Power and ourselves.
Today, I will respect other people’s understanding of God, as well as my own. I will not allow others’ judgment of my beliefs to cause me anxiety and. distress. I will seek to grow spiritually in recovery, with or without the assistance of a particular religion or denomination.
Today I give myself permission to take the quiet time I need to meditate and to improve my conscious contact with God. – Ruth Fishel
God help me to stay sober and clean today!
Contributed by Shreerang Karkare
