Our motives are often a surprise to us. In our early days of recovery, they were almost always a surprise! We’ve learned to check our motives through prayer, meditation, the steps, and talking to our sponsor or other addicts. When we find ourselves with an especially strong urge to do or have something, it’s particularly important to check our motives to find out what we really want.
In early recovery, many of us throw ourselves into service with great fervor before we have started the regular practice of motive–checking. It takes awhile before we become aware of the real reasons for our zeal. We may want to impress others, show off our talents, or be recognized and important. Now, these desires may not be harmful in another setting, expressed through another outlet. In NA service, however, they can do serious damage.
When we decide to serve NA, we make a decision to help addicts find and maintain recovery. We have to carefully check our motives in service, remembering that it’s much easier to frighten away using addicts than to convince them to stay. When we show them game–playing, manipulation, or pomposity, we present an unattractive picture of recovery; However, the unselfish desire to serve others creates an atmosphere that is attractive to the addict who still suffers.
Just for today: I will check my motives for the true spirit of service.
