Tushar's Recovery Testimony
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What an exhilarating and eventful journey it has been. Finding joy in giving, instead of in snatching – what a transformation. I truly am grateful to everyone who made this possible.
It is pointless going into the war stories of the using days. I guess they are more or less the same for all of us recovering addicts. Blocked veins, stealing, lying, obsessed with only one thought – how to get the next dose, on the streets, no self–esteem, no values et al.
One thing I just cannot figure out is why did it take me seventeen years to take the steps needed to recover. I had been to rehabs and Narcotic Anonymous meetings and knew what I had to do to find recovery, but it took me a long time to get on the path. The 27th April 1995 evening is still vividly etched in my mind. I had gone to Bangalore, looking for a job. There I ran out of money, could not find stuff, was sick with pushing Fortwin and smoking pot. I used the last of my money to buy a bus ticket back to Pune. And as there was still time for the bus to depart, I went to a serene shady spot overlooking a lake at nearby Lalbaug.
It was there that I went through a flashback of my using life and wept inconsolably. That was when I truly went on my knees and surrendered to a Higher Power. Since that moment I have not had the urge to use. What a paradox – Victory in accepting defeat! There is so much truth in the N.A./A.A. philosophy
The first year of recovery was the most difficult. Spirituality, optimism, seeking help and finding the right people all helped me get through this most delicate period of recovery. And then there was no looking back. It is just not possible to share my experience strength and hope in a few paragraphs. I would be more than happy to share my experience, strength and hope. My email is:This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Whenever I am feeling low or dejected, I remind myself that I have no reason to feel low, because the logical end to my using ways was – Death or Insanity or Institutionalization. Instead I have a chance to enjoy life at its fullest.
Thank you God! And heart felt thanks to all the people working to help people like me! What a joy it is to be able to travel and pursue meaningful interests. Recovery has made all this possible.
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