"As a result of the Twelve Steps, I’m not able to hold on to old ways of deceiving myself."
We all rationalize. Sometimes we know we are rationalizing, admit we are rationalizing, yet continue to behave according to our rationalizations! Recovery can become very painful when we decide that, for one reason or another, the simple principals of the program don’t apply to us.

With the help of our sponsors and others in NA we can begin to look at the excuse we use for our behavior. Do we find that some principals just don’t apply to us? Do we believe that we know more that everyone else in Narcotics Anonymous, even those who have been clean for many years? What makes us think that we’re so special There is no doubt, we can successfully rationalize our way through part of our recovery. But, eventually, we must squarely face the truth and start acting accordingly.

The principals in the Twelve Steps guide us to a new life in recovery. There is little room for rationalization there.
Just for today: I cannot work the steps and also continue deceiving myself. I will examine my thinking for rationalizations, revel them to my sponsor, and be rid of them.