The present day
As of today, I am gainfully employed, and rejoice in the fact that I am not financially dependent on anyone anymore. I still struggle with the after–effects of my past. Guilt, anger and mistrust of others still threaten me at every turn. I took the decisive step of being baptized three years ago, but to say that this was the end of my struggle for spiritual understanding would be very far from the truth. Many times, it seems to me that Satan didn’t really take me too seriously till I declared my faith in Christ publicly – and has now really opened up his arsenal. But I have weapons of my own now.

I have been off drugs for over a year now. True to the only workable fundament of addiction recovery, I have stayed ‘Clean’ one impossible day at a time. It appears the days add up somehow. My marriage, as I’ve already mentioned, is nevertheless in its death throes. That’s sad, but not the end of the world.

I’m afraid I cannot claim that I have overcome the demon of addiction, much as I would love to. Both my own experience and that of countless others tells me that recovery is an ongoing miracle, requiring daily sustenance of submission and prayer. I know of many others, many of them close friends (some of who finally died of overdoses or addiction–generated complications) who committed the mistake of believing that the problem was permanently licked.

I cannot take this gift for granted, or ever grow too confident about my ownership of it. I have learned of the concept of stewardship – I have been entrusted with the priceless treasure of a sane and meaningful life on a sort of recurring deposit scheme. What I put in is daily prayer and an admittedly imperfect dependence on Jesus.

What I take out is Eternal Life, one day at a time.